As a therapist, I’ve treated many people who want to know why they allow others to treat them poorly. Sometimes, it’s an individual who has entered into an unhealthy romantic relationship where they allow themselves to be disrespected.
When other people advise you to steer clear, you‘ll remind yourself that they just don’t understand this individual like you do. So you keep focused on how smart, talented, or skilled they are in hopes that someday, they’ll get the motivation, energy, and drive to reach their greatest potential.
Whether you‘re convinced your colleague had a rough childhood or you think your partner’s behavior stems from a high-stress job, excuses allow the mistreatment to continue. If you have a deep-rooted belief that you‘re a loser or that you‘re unworthy, you‘ll surround yourself with people who confirm your conclusions. Whether you are afraid of being lonely, or you think you won’t ever find another boss who pays you so much, fear keeps you stuck.
It often evolves slowly and gets worse gradually–so you might underestimate the toll someone is taking on your life. The first step in creating change is to recognize that you deserve to be treated with respect–and to discover why you‘ve allowed someone to mistreat you.
What is it called when someone treats you badly?
persecute. verb. to treat someone extremely badly, or to refuse them equal rights, especially because of their race, religion, or political beliefs.
How do you know if you're being treated badly?
Passive aggressive behavior. ….Volatility. ….”Jokes” that aren’t really jokes. ….Walking on eggshells. ….You feel like you have to ask permission. ….Constant exhaustion. ….Becoming isolated.
How do you stop wanting someone who treats you badly?
6 Ways to Let Go of Toxic Relationships:.Seek a partner you can be yourself with and is easy to be close to. ….Set an expectation of mutual respect. ….Don’t compromise your values. ….Be more assertive in relationships.
Its a fact that almost all of us have been in a situation where we were treated poorly by another person, but the question here is, how do you learn what to do when someone treats you badly?
However, there are instances where a person chooses to stay although they are already being treated harshly. We may not understand this, but its very common, especially when the person who mistreats you is your partner.
No one is blind to these types of situations, yet some people choose to stay even if they are already experiencing being treated harshly by their partners or someone close to them. You might feel like you are the only one who could understand your partner, and if you give up on them, no one would care for them as you do. Sadly, you might start believing all of this and think that you are lacking something thats why your partner is mistreating you so you try to be better.
You also might be blocking all the bad things your partner is doing, and you start to focus on his good traits.These are signs that you are justifying the other persons actions of treating someone badly, and its never healthy. The person who is mistreating you is the one whose words, intentions, or actions are in the wrong. Having low self-esteem is one of the most common reasons why many people allow their partners to treat them badly.
Childhood trauma , a false belief of how relationships work, and even a mindset that your partner will still change are all reasons why you are not doing anything about your situation. Once you realize your worth and have decided to talk to your partner, then its also time to set boundaries not just for yourself but also for your relationship. If you start feeling that you are inadequate for your partner, or you start feeling guilty or shameful along with depression, then these are signs that you are blaming yourself for your partners actions.
When someone treats you badly in a relationship, then know that this is already a red flag. If you ask yourself, Why do people treat me badly? then maybe its time to address the issue. While you are taking this step, expect to notice a change in your partners behavior.
Watch this video to know what boundaries you must set in every relationship: You have successfully set your boundaries, but you dont see much change. Remember that the longer it has been this way, the more extended and more complex it would be for your partner to accept and start to change.
If your partner continues to treat you badly, dont be afraid to have the conversation again. If your partner agrees to talk and work with you, then thats good progress. If both of you feel overwhelmed and find it hard to commit, then dont be afraid to seek help.
Many people are afraid to face the fact that they have an abusive partner until its too late. Dont live in a cycle of abuse and manipulation. An important part of knowing how to react when someone treats you badly is when to walk away.
Not all people can commit or change, and if you have done everything you can, it also means that its time for you to move on, and theres no turning back. You dont have to stoop down to their level and be aggressive, and sometimes, the best action is to give up and move on.
I researched everything I could about setting strong boundaries and gathered together a range of psychological tools to help defend against toxic people.
Unfortunately, Ive endured many times in my life when people have treated me badly. After reading this article, youll know how to respond when someone treats you badly.
Manage and Avoid Drama Llamas If you need further support to disarm difficult people and maintain stronger boundaries, I enthusiastically recommend you explore my popular online course Manage and Avoid Drama Llamas . Already this course has helped many thousands of people around the world to reduce drama, conflict, stress and enjoy more inner peace. I learned this healing mantra tool from my son who is obviously an old soul.
My son as a toddler was telling the bullies in his kindergarten class a loud No thank you! whenever one of them said something mean to hurt his feelings. I now borrow my sons mantra whenever someone is treating me badly. Sometimes, after the stressful event has passed, I practice my sons mantra as a meditation: I close my eyes and envision the negative person who treated me badly.
This reminder helps me to release some of the offenders negative toxins from my system so I can start to return back to my happier, calmer self. Remember: Often toxic people thrive on creating drama. I speak to the offending person in factual and logical terms about why I am hurt.
First, I explain why I feel they treated me badly by trying to get them to see the cause and effects of their actions. So I start by describing the effects their behavior had on my feelings and life. I try to use soft language and own my feelings by using the word I: I did not appreciate____ Im disappointed about ____ I felt hurt about _____
When Im done, I ask them If they can see how they might have accidentally hurt me How they might do things differently in the future so we can have the best relationship possible Keep the toxic person at a safe emotional distance. Keep in mind the costs this toxic person will play to your emotional health if you allow their bad behavior to continue.
I will give you video training (in short 3 10 minute bursts) to help you disarm narcissists, liars, manipulators, emotional vampires, and high conflict people. Already these psychological strategies have helped many thousands of people around the world.
You see their potential.
It’s frustrating when you see someone who seems to be throwing their life away. You know they could do so much better and accomplish so much if they really wanted to.So you keep focused on how smart, talented, or skilled they are in hopes that someday, they’ll get the motivation, energy, and drive to reach their greatest potential.
You think you help them change.
You think that you have the knowledge, patience, compassion, or time to support the other person in changing.And you might convince yourself that without you, the other person won’t ever change. So you decide you‘re tough enough to handle the mistreatment because you‘re hopeful things will get better.
You focus on the good.
If things were bad all the time, it’d be easy to cut the person out of your life. But there’s a good chance there are some good times too.The desire to see the best in people can cause you to focus on the good only. And the more you think about the positive, the more disillusioned you‘ll become about the reality of the situation.
You excuse the bad.
It can be tempting to look for a reason why someone would behave badly. It can’t possibly be that the other person is mean, disrespectful or uncaring, right?Whether you‘re convinced your colleague had a rough childhood or you think your partner’s behavior stems from a high-stress job, excuses allow the mistreatment to continue.
They confirm your beliefs about yourself.
If you have a deep-rooted belief that you‘re a loser or that you‘re unworthy, you‘ll surround yourself with people who confirm your conclusions.It’s a vicious cycle that’s hard to break. When you‘re treated poorly, you‘ll feel worse about yourself. And the worse you feel, the less likely you are to believe you deserve to be treated better.