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Why Do Guys Act Hot and Cold?

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He lays it on thick and absolutely ravishes you with attention and warmth only to switch things up seemingly without any sort of provocation and freeze you out.

They dont even realize how it comes across or that it could hurt you or make you feel awful and theyre not ever likely to change how they behave. Guys like that arent really worth talking about, because theyre pretty rare.

When a guy runs hot and cold on you, its extremely likely that hes actually acting out his own insecurity in the relationship (and driving you crazy in the process). Hes feeling strong emotions about you but its not that he deeply misses you or that he likes you a scary amount. Guys who lead with things like I cant believe how strongly I feel about you, really early in dating someone are trying to see what youll do in response.

The unconscious mind is a powerful thing, and men and women both are often driven by insecurity without realizing it consciously. Lets say youve been dating for a while, and you think this guy is really into you because of all the mushy intense things hes been telling you. You have dates more often, youre in contact more frequently, and it feels like youre heading straight for a serious relationship.

So hell cancel plans, or flake on you, or let texts and phone calls go unanswered for days at a time. To him, hes instinctively acting to try to show you that youre not a couple, partially (or totally) oblivious to how it feels from your end. The first step towards not getting caught in the chaos of having a guy go hot and cold on you is understanding why hes acting that way and where its coming from.

So the next time a guy goes over the top hot at the beginning of a relationship, youll understand why hes acting that way and hopefully not get caught up in that particular mind game. And if youre with a guy whos going cold on you now, you now have way more insight into where his headspace is at, so that you can decide whether you want to pursue a relationship with him or not.

Why do guys act cold when they like you?

1. He feels you are out of his league. One of the obvious reasons why a guy may ignore or act disinterested in you is because he feels you are too good for him. … Or he fears being in painful one-sided love, so he thinks it is better not to act upon his feelings and maintain distance from you to avoid getting hurt.

What causes hot and cold behavior?

There are many reasons a person blows hot and cold. It could be that they are not ready for a committed relationship ; they don’t know what they want; they are not sure what to do about their intense feelings for you; or they are emotionally unstable or unavailable.

The girl Ive been pursuing(lets call her Jill) has shown clear signs of interest. Conversely, Im the one whos been pulling back a bit. Shes probably a little confused, which explains why shes now sometimes hesitant to reveal too much feeling, although difficult to hold back.

– He could be hot when he wants sex from you, and cold when he doesnt want to invest more in the relationship with you (and he feels you wanting more investment).

See this article on why men pull away & how to deal with it as a high value woman. And if you suspect this is the case, then you need to know that rebound relationships arent based on real emotional attraction.

Theyre a shell version of a real romantic relationship where two people fall in love. This is because his swinging the pendulum between close and distant doesnt feel normal to you. It is normal and natural for any man to pull away at some point as your relationship gets deeper and closer.

If this is the case, then his distance may be a normal part of him being a guy, and he will come back soon enough. It means that he acts warm and loving towards you one minute, and then he pulls away, creating distance and disconnects with you the next. He is overall inconsistent in the way he approaches the relationship with you, and it signifies that perhaps he isnt as committed as you deserve.

You probably feel confused, unloved, duped, and you probably have other men who are willing to give you attention, right? So why does this man whom things were so great with at the beginning suddenly seem like a completely different person? When we are in lust, or even when we fall in love at the beginning of a relationship, our instincts are at work.

Survival is paramount, for this part of our brain, and so is procreation and baby making. At this stage, the man claims he loves babies, children and prams. And the woman is crazy about the man, is super warm towards him, she wants sex a lot, and is far easier to make happy.

(What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say! When men fall in love, their testosterone levels lower. Because of this, at this early stage of the relationship, men and women differ far less than they normally would in their behaviour and interactions.

We might like to think that we can control this kind of thing, and not be phony at the start. Like, say, never lose your temper with your man again, or never eat a chocolate candy bar again, and then.ultimately, you do? This is the subconscious part of your brain simply going for what feels great in the moment.

Kind of like getting a quick fix in the moment of an emotional difficulty. Because NOW, its not new anymore, maybe those feel-good brain chemicals are not running like mad. Even if you truly have good intentions, and want to work on something, its hard to know what to do.

Since a man wants to make you happy (this need is at the core of him), this is like a blow to the guts for many men. And they may get confused, withdraw, and start to feel less inclined to take things to the next level. If a man feels like hes not able to make you happy, or if hes afraid you will be impossible to make happy hes going to pull away, get confused, or even leave, or run hot and cold.

Weve all been hurt in an intimate relationship before, and hes just a bit scared. So, he has to come on strong to get sex from you or to form a bond with you.Regardless of whether or not he is in love with you. See, men will come on strong whether they are interested in casual sex with you, or whether they want to commit deeper with you.

On a primal level, this helps him to secure you as a mate, and it leads, hopefully, to procreation and babies. As a woman, its not always easy to tell the difference between a man coming on strong because he is truly feeling a romantic bond with you, and a man who is coming on strong because he just wants sex. Regardless of whether you like the idea of men coming on strong in the beginning, it has its benefits for evolution.

Remember that you and I wouldnt be here right now, if our male ancestors didnt make their moves and pursue females strongly. So even though you feel hurt, and youre scared of losing him , remember and try to appreciate that men have their masculine meanings and masculine biases when dating you, a woman with a feminine bias. Regardless of whether you think hes being a moody bi*ch because hes blowing hot and cold, or perhaps you feel like youve done something wrong.

Reality sets in for both of you after the initial period, and what happens is the man then feels some resistance. This is where YOU come in, and where what you do as a woman, in your relationship with him (or any future man for that matter) is absolutely crucial. I know we live in a world where we are encouraged to think that men and women arent different.

But when it comes to our reproductive agendas, men and women act very differently in dating (and even when in established relationships). If you dont know what to do to stop him running hot and cold youre going to end up feeling rejected, hurt and perhaps even humiliated. You may also end up feeling attached to a man who is just wasting your precious time and youth, which is incredibly important to us as women.

So the longer you go without understanding men and not knowing how to deal with him pulling away after coming on so strong, then the more of your own time you waste. Remember that a man will commit to you when he subconsciously and consciously feels that you are a valuable woman to him. Many men have commitment resistance, but if you know how to overcome it it never needs to happen again in your relationship.

If youre thinking this all just sounds like men want everything to be easy, and wont man up and stick things through, I understand. But when you get a little understanding of how men work, you realize that your perceptions are not 100% true. You want to go further, take things further, get a man to open up, and maybe create a future together.

Before he will be willing to step up to the plate and continue with the deep connection you had in the beginning, he needs to feel like a man with you. Well, as a general rule, being connected to you and being in relationship with you (a woman) for an extended time , doesnt really make him feel like a man, at his core. Yet, talking with you, having intimate conversations with you, engaging in loving exchanges with you over and over for a very long time can feel like suffocation to a man, when he hasnt had a chance to re-group.

If youre truly feminine inside , what does life feel like if you dont feel like a woman radiant, beautiful, connected, loved and loving, free, and expressive? For example, men often get hurt and frustrated by us spending hoards of money on what they would deem to be pointless things. All the better if YOU happen to be that feminine woman who makes him feel like a man.

So if right now your man seems to be running hot and cold and pulling away, and you feel scared, taken for granted or confused, here are the 5 action steps you can take. The first thing I recommend that you do moving forward, is to get some clarity and understanding of his intent towards you. To bring home food, to kill beasts, and to work in a group with their comrades to achieve a result.

Men are not originally made to have their default mode of operation be to actively seek out long-term relationships with women. Mens default operation was set to seek out procreation, have sex and pass on his genes in to tomorrow. So the fact that hes wired to seek out sex by default, is not necessarily bad for you.

Once you acknowledge that his pulling away doesnt mean youve done anything wrong, you can feel more free. Once youve got this space between yourself and a man, and you acknowledge that his pulling away is just trying to meet his own needs, then you can then proceed to free yourself from suffering. I know that even if he does the thing I fear the most which is leave me I am far too powerful a woman to diminish myself because of this.

From these new meanings you give to your fears, you will be able to increase your value and make him realize your value as a woman, because you wont be doing things from a place of desperation or neediness. When you do things from a place of desperation or neediness, you end up just extracting value from a mans life, rather than adding value. An important point to note: when you give a man space, and you do the steps Ive given you above, youll notice a difference in your own energy.

And not only that, if hes the right man for you, he may want to make plans to see YOU, because he feels your presence differently . Just remember that giving a man space doesnt guarantee that hell see you as his one and only. Even if men come back to you still need to test them, and feel their intent.

When someone is hot and cold, often its because they do not want to feel more vulnerable, and because they are ambivalent towards the idea of committing more to the relationship. The conversation has lots of excitement and emotional attraction at one point in time, but the conversation momentum dies down the next, so he doesnt feel its worth his energy anymore. Hes doesnt really trust you or the relationship he has with you, so hell take what he can get when it suits him only.

And if you want to take things further, really get a deep understanding of men and what is going to inspire him to commit organically, heres what to do. Renee is the founder of The Feminine Woman & co-founder of Shen Wade Media where we teach women how to show up as a high value high status woman whom easily inspires a deep sense of emotional commitment from her chosen man. Together with her husband D. Shen at Commitment Triggers blog , they have positively influenced the lives of over 15 million women through their free articles and videos as well as 10s of thousands through paid programs through the Shen Wade Media platform.

Here’s Why Men Run Hot And Cold

When a guy runs hot and cold on you, it’s extremely likely that he’s actually acting out his own insecurity in the relationship (and driving you crazy in the process). When a guy comes on really really strong at the start of a relationship, only to back off later, it’s because he was insecure about how you felt about him, and then panicked when he realized that all his lovey-dovey behavior at the start would make you think you were in a committed relationship.

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…It’s either worth it to ride it out with that type of guy or not – if it’s not worth it then it’s better to let him go.But there’s another, far more common type of guy who goes hot and cold on you.more: The insecure guy.

When a different part of him surfaces…

You probably feel confused, unloved, ‘duped’, and you probably have other men who are willing to give you attention, right?So why does Well, it’s partly because he

Here is what happened…

When we are in lust, or even when we fall in love at the beginning of a relationship, our instincts are at work.What is at work is a primitive part of the brain, a part that some call the ‘lizard brain’.This is the part of the brain that is in every living creature, of course, reptiles included. It’s there to help us survive. Survival is paramount, for this part of our brain, and so is procreation and baby making.
When you are very attracted to someone at the beginning, you (and them) subconsciously put out the ‘best’ parts of yourself, whether you like it or not.At this stage, you are driven by your instincts. At this stage, the man claims he loves babies, children and prams.And the woman is crazy about the man, is super warm towards him, she wants sex a lot, and is far easier to make happy.(What is the ONE thing you can say to ANY man that will capture his attention, trigger his curiosity and make him hang onto every word you say!

Men “have to” come on strong

See, if a man really desires you OR if he is falling in love with you, he HAS to come on strong.It’s part of how nature works. He wouldn’t secure a mate or pass on his genes otherwise. This is how it works in the animal kingdom, and it still works similar to us humans, even though men have become a lot more passive in this modern era.So, he has to come on strong to get sex from you or to form a bond with you.Yes, I said See, men will come on strong whether they are interested in casual sex with you, or whether they want to commit deeper with you. On a primal level, this helps him to secure you as a mate, and it leads, hopefully, to procreation and babies.As a woman, it’s not always easy to tell the difference between a man coming on strong because he is truly feeling a romantic bond with you, and a man who is coming on strong because he just wants sex.This is why there are Regardless of whether you like the idea of men coming on strong in the beginning, it has its benefits for evolution.Remember that you and I wouldn’t be here right now, if our male ancestors didn’t make their moves and pursue females strongly.So even though you feel hurt, and you’re Regardless of whether you think he’s being a moody bi*ch because he’s blowing hot and cold, or perhaps you feel like you’ve done something wrong.It’s actually just a necessary part of the natural cycle of your relationship.Now – back to what I said above about reality setting in.Reality sets in for both of you after the initial period, and what happens is the man then feels some resistance.

Meeting the resistance

If you are a member of our program Commitment Control, you would already be aware of what However, just for now, all you need to know is this:
This is where YOU come in, and where what you do as a woman, in your relationship with him (or any future man for that matter) is absolutely crucial.Not all men are commitment ready.

Men & women & their differences

The point is that men and women are completely different. I know we live in a world where we are encouraged to think that men and women aren’t different.But that’s just propaganda trying to override our instincts.Sure, in some ways, men and women really aren’t that different!But when it comes to our reproductive agendas, men and women act very differently in dating (and even when in established relationships).If you want to stop your man from running hot and cold, you need to understand how men think, what they value, and how men work.Men and women even use different parts of their brains more than the other sex.In order for you to get the best out of your guy, you need to understand what is truly valuable to men. You’ll need to understand You need to understand how to become that valuable woman he’s going to long for, And if your man is running hot and cold, or if you have dated a few men that have all run hot and cold, listen up.If you don’t know what to do to You may also end up feeling attached to a man who is just wasting your precious time and youth, which is incredibly important to us as women.(If you want to know whether he’s really serious about you or just stringing you along, here are We’re all here for a limited time only, right? We don’t have a lifetime to waste.So the longer you go without(And of course, the more (There Are Exactly 7 Signs That A Woman is Perceived as Low Value to Men. Do You Know What They Are? (& How to Avoid Them Like the Plague)?

What makes a man commit to you

Remember that a man will commit to you when he subconsciously and consciously feels that you are a valuable woman to him.In other words, when there’s plenty of Most of us want a lifelong mate who is high quality, so you can’t blame him for that.Many men have commitment resistance, but if you know It’s not hard to get a man to want to devote himself to you…
What is the right woman? She is She is a woman who actually understands men, unlike nearly all women out there who don’t understand men at all.

He will feel your presence differently

And not only that, if he’s the right man for you, he may want to make plans to see YOU, because You start to go from feeling like more of a burden to him to feeling like more of an excitement and a ‘drug’ for him.Just remember that giving a man space doesn’t guarantee that he’ll see you as his one and only. Even if men come back to you still need to test them, and feel their intent.If you would like to know how to test your man, I’ve got a great article which shows you exactly how you can test your man I’ve also got ONE thing you can text him to capture his attention, trigger his curiosity, and make him hang onto every word you say. This will give you the opportunity to test how serious he is about you.

alertarticles.infoHello, my name is Silva. This is my blog about knowledge. People email me some interesting questions about life, riddles, relationships, and more and I try to answer them to the best of my ability. You will find all the knowledge of the world here!

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