Why Have I Never Been in a Relationship?


Sometimes, it can seem like so much of life revolves around falling in love. It can feel like being in a relationship is the most important thing on the planet, and when you’re not in a relationship, as if you’re the only single person left. But that simply isn’t true. If you’ve never been in a relationship, that is perfectly normal and OK. Everyone is different, and if you do decide to enter a relationship, know that you can do so in your own time, whenever you’re ready.

Is it normal to never been in a relationship?

Real Reasons You Have Nothing To Worry About If You’ve Never Been In A Relationship. … If you’ve never been in a relationship, that is perfectly normal and OK. Everyone is different, and if you do decide to enter a relationship, know that you can do so in your own time, whenever you’re ready.

Why are some people never in relationships?

Insecurities And Low Self-Esteem. Having low self-esteem is one of the most common reasons people choose to not get in a relationship. The fear of being rejected is too overwhelming, and they don’t want to take a chance of lowering their self-esteem even more.

What do you call someone who has never been in a relationship?

THE BASICS. I just learned that there is a name for people who make it to their 20s or beyond without ever having had a romantic relationship. They are called “ relationship virgins.” Relationship is a big, inclusive word.

Is it normal to have never been in a relationship at 30?

There is no normal when it comes to dating and love. There are many reason why a person might never have gone on a date by the time they reach their 30s, and none of those reasons would indicate that something is wrong with them. Maybe they’ve haven’t yet met someone they would want to date.

We recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what it’s like to have never been in a relationship. Many of them gave honest answers about their experiences and perspectives on dating and relationships as well as the struggles and joys of single life. Here are their stories.

At this stage, Im too used to freedom and never having to compromise, so I think Id struggle to accommodate someone this late in the game, but at the same time, a bit of companionship wouldnt go astray. “I didnt have the typical teenage experience when it came to dating, and people assume you’re so lonely because you havent been in a relationship, but really, Im fine and am fully capable of being happy by myself.”

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I find myself being a third or fifth wheel a lot of the time, and it gets pretty hard sometimes. “I decided at age 15 that I never wanted to get married, in part because of the emotional, physical, and psychological abuse I was experiencing and also because of the disaster of a marriage between my parents. Fotografixx / Getty Images
Im not gonna rush or settle for something thats not right for me when I seem to get more love, companionship, protection, and respect from a canine than many do from their spouses.”

Luis Alvarez / Getty Images
“It’s probably my own fault for watching too many rom-coms, and this isn’t a dig to people who’ve met their S.O. “I always told myself that I dont want to have a relationship because of my mental health issues, but it actually might make them better. “I am young (18), and the boys my age either only want a hookup or they are looking for a future wife who is gonna give them loads of babies, take care of them, and take on all responsibility while also working a full-time job.

“Through A LOT of soul-searching, therapy, and my own research, I discovered that I have significant attachment issues and a clear intimacy disorder. If, at the end of the day, I can say that I no longer run from one-night stands to two-week toxic encounters to yearslong dry spells, all while beating myself up for every decision, then I am living the healthiest life I can.” “I make friends easily and am conventionally attractive but have the emotional range of a walnut, so as far as I can tell, while guys like methey just dont love me.

On my end, Im pretty sure Im aromantic; the level of intimacy that separates a partner from just a friend you have sex with is something I dont want or understand. Ariel Skelley / Getty Images
I would like to be in a relationship someday (in fact, there is someone who I am interested in, and he might like me back), but I want romance and emotional connection rather than the physical aspects of a relationship (I can live without sex, tbh).” Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images
“While life is absolutely great and Im not depending on finding a relationship to fill a void, I would love to be the person who isnt ‘looking’ and just lets it happen.

In 2020, about 45.4% of Americans 18 and older, or 114.3 million, were unmarried, according to the U.S. Census Bureaus current population survey. To put that in perspective, in 1950, that number hovered around 22%

I now do FaceTime dates so I dont have to waste my time getting ready to go on the train to meet a subpar guy. Basically, at this point, I am the queen on the situationship ; I have a terrible affinity for dating emotionally unavailable men.

One of my goals since childhood was to have my life be as simple and uncomplicated as possible, and not pursuing romantic and sexual relationships has been a key part of achieving that. I didnt then (and still dont) smoke, drink or use drugs, so that set me apart and limited my opportunities to meet women in bars where those things were the norm. Over the years I would occasionally meet a woman I liked and enjoyed talking to and spending time with, but ultimately that was all I wanted to do.

Often, while listening to my friends talk about the trials and tribulations of their own relationships, I feel like Ive dodged a bullet. A few times Ive been in public and a spontaneous interaction with a guy, often initiated by them, might constitute hitting it off, and then theyd stick around as long as they could then or whenever they saw me again. However, before asking me out theyd also put their arms around my shoulders, and Id realized they were going to playfully kiss me a moment before they did, where I only had time to tense up against being pulled in, so that wasnt great!

I feel that I could experience an affection for and closeness with someone that another person might consider being in love, but I wouldnt necessarily need to re-conceptualize or restructure into dating or marriage. Most of my day is structured around career-based tasks, creative thought and conceptualization, or spending time with family or close friends. “In South Asian culture, an unfortunate norm is that when a woman reaches her mid-20s, if shes not ready to get married, somethings wrong,” Malvika Sheth said.

I wish society would understand that, single or in a relationship, we as humans are just trying to do the best job possible to stay happy, positive and fulfill our purpose. At this very moment, my purpose is to empower individuality through my creative talents in fashion and beauty, and I havent yet figured how a relationship would factor into that. As I have never been in a relationship, I dont know what I might be missing out on. I always date with a kind of a lets see what happens mentality and take things as they come.

I feel like I dont know how to behave as a partner, and I am also way too used to my independence and being on my own, so I guess compromising that would be the hardest bit. Someone with a sense of humor I know everything I list sounds standard, but I joke and use sarcasm a lot, and sometimes it doesnt travel well.

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